Oh, Esta Todo Bien

I am so filled with love right now. It has been a very tender weekend. My dear, sweet second cousin died tragically and unexpectedly in an accident. She was only a teenager. I taught her voice lessons this summer, so I really know her. So it has definitely been a time of sorrow. I am praying so hard for her family, who I also love so dearly. 

At the same time, I am overwhelmed by the goodness of God. He knows and loves Norah, her family, and all of us. I don't always understand how or why things happen, but I trust Him. In my own life, he has always carried me. When I was suffering so much with my past relationships, he was there. He took all of that. He loves me. And he had a plan the whole time. It’s not an easy, breezy kind of plan. It’s a plan that changes us and helps us see the glory and grace of God.

I had my period this weekend, and it was extra bad, so I’ve been really emotional and felt awful. I told Cristian that I’m going to be late for church because my cramps were bad. He said  I could watch sacrament meeting on Zoom. So I stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself. Suddenly, he was at my door. He was dressed in church clothes and looked so handsome. I was in my housedress/nightgown that he gave me, wrapped in a blanket. He said he just wanted to visit me for a minute. Then he said that I could still come if I want. He said there was no rush in getting ready. We were already late, but he said "the Lord loves effort."

So I showered. He made my bed, found and plugged in my hairdryer, made me a nice sandwich, and I did my makeup. When he brought me the sandwich, I started crying (period, remember . . . or maybe it's just me) and suddenly my fresh makeup was running down my face. It was only a sandwich and a visit and a little support and patience. But it was more than that. He told me that he had felt the feeling that he really needed to come to me. He had brought God’s love and God’s saving power to my little moment of darkness. Cristian saw me, knew what I would need, and humbly served. It was a big thing for me. 

When we finally went to try to take the bus, it never came because of construction. Two cute little Venezuelan teenage girls who are investigating the church were also as late as we were and waiting for the bus to get to church. When we realized that the bus was not coming anytime soon, we were able to get a taxi, invite the girls to join us, and help them get to church. One of them lived in Woods Cross, Georgia for the last two years, which was very surprising.  Such a sweet miracle came from my weak tiredness and Cristian’s willingness to follow the spirit and care more about me than about getting to church on time! 

I don’t know how or why, but in the Logroño ward, we have sacrament meeting second, after classes. (Cristian had already arranged for to get the sacrament after the meeting.) We showed up in time for most of the first talk and for the rest hymn, Gethsemane. My overly hormonal, emotional state led to (shocker) me crying through the song. 

“Gethsemane. Jesus loves me.” Jesus DOES love me. Then the closing song was “Come, Come Ye Saints.” When we got to “Oh, esta todo bien” at the end of the verse, I suddenly started thinking about my dear, sweet cousin again. How could everything be “todo bien” with that going on? It seemed like it surely can’t. 

Then we got to the last verse about “and should we die before our journey’s through.” The Spanish lyrics continued with this sentiment: “oh, que gozo y paz.” In English, “oh what joy and peace.” 

This tragedy is so painful, especially for her immediate family. How can joy and peace come from something so terrible? I don’t really know. 

But I know the answer lies in that same merciful God and the Redeemer, Jesus Christ. 

As we stood in the tiny sacrament closet after the meeting with faithful, priesthood-holding members who kneeled and blessed our sacrament, I felt that assurance again. The Lord lives. He is merciful, and we are all blessed, whether we are in the thick crucible of earthly heartache or basking in precious, heavenly rays of God's sweet spirit. Happy Sunday! Or at least, Peaceful Sunday. “Oh, esta todo bien.”