Doing Well When We Can

My students amaze me. They also often completely overwhelm me. They are from Mexico, Venezuela, Columbia, Honduras, and like 20 other South/Central American countries. Many of them are here in the United States legally, and many others have taken long, dangerous journeys illegally. Some needed to travel to the United States alone at young ages. They are brave and strong! 

They are also teenagers trying to find their way in a new country. They want to fit in, and, usually, they are amazingly good at doing that. I can tell that they've probably been in the English Learning program for long enough when they start getting fake eyelashes and nails. Or fancy shoes. Some are so wonderful. They come with ZERO English, and they make so much progress. In less than a year, many are speaking so much English and earning good grades. When I see them working so hard to learn and then really learning, it just makes me love them so much. 

Others try my patience! Today, a couple spilled a bunch of perfume or nail polish remover or something, and we were all coughing a LOT. Like it was bad. I still feel like I have a weird tickle in the back of my throat. It was not a class that I would ever want to take outside because they are wild, but I had no choice. Half of them ran outside and the others wouldn't come. Three boys went to (probably) vape in the bathroom. Just when all my students were as out of control and spread out as possible, an important group of people from the district and a photographer walked through our trailer and out the door. I don't know who they were, but I'm sure they were wondering what we were doing. *Sigh*

All year I've been fighting with the feeling that I'm not a good teacher or that if I were just different or better at classroom management, I could make a bigger difference. Honestly, this was how I felt last year too teaching 6th grade in Utah. However, I need to focus on what I've done well. I have improved a lot, and teaching is a tough job. I don't have the best personality for classroom management, but I'm getting smarter and tougher. Then there are days like today that stress me right out. It's not always very good for my nervous system. But I've done it and I'm doing it. 

As a child, teenager, and college student, it's easy to feel successful. Effort, at least for me, led to achievement and success and recognition. I lived for that recognition. Now, I put so much effort into all kinds of things, and very few people, and often no one at all, can see my efforts. That's just how it goes when you're an adult. 

But I'm not here to be recognized or appreciated or even to feel like a good teacher. I'm here to help these students learn English and succeed. I read something surprising the other day. It said, "Children do well when they can." Not when they feel like it or when they want to. They all want to do well, but sometimes they can't. 

I think people are the same. When we can, we succeed in school or at our jobs. We succeed in responsibilities and relationships. We succeed with money or with our physical health if we can.

On the other hand, one can argue that we all can do better and really need to. Of course that's true, and I think this is where Christ comes in. Usually, humans choose what they think is best for them or what they have the capacity for in the moment. However, with Christ's help and the help of other good examples, we can do better and eventually become perfect. 

In the meantime, let's be more patient with each other. (This is me telling myself.) We are all trying and we are all falling short and trying again. I will continue to love my students and strive to help them succeed. I will continue to be patient with myself as a trying but less-than-perfect teacher. We will improve together, and we'll make it. 

Also, it's the last month of school . . .